In our Meditation Space category we feature stories from people sitting on meditation cushions and practicing community. In case you imagined that having a community was optional, here are 7 benefits of community life that suggest otherwise:
1. Calming Consumerism. With the vagaries of real relationships, our community is never the “best” one. These days, everyone wants the best for “me.” But community isn’t a “me,” it’s a “we.” In community we’ll have friends, friends who don’t agree, and friends who don’t agree and need help. Always wanting the best for ourselves makes life a competition or a shopping trip. A life that culminates in shopping might not be meaningful. To give, to share, is to find meaning. Aren’t you tired of shopping, even for agreeable friends?
2. Seeing Yourself. In community there are the “good” ones and the ones whom, for whatever reason, you can’t abide. There are also those who live in your blind spot. You don’t notice them and they can’t figure out what planet you are on. Exploring community is an exploration of you. What you love in others, you can see in yourself. What you can’t abide, is a mirror reflecting back too brightly. And the ones you never see? You tell me.
3. Leading and Being Led. We’re rough on our leaders. Perceiving a fault, we give up on them. In the meantime, we follow our impulses as if they were kings. Leadership isn’t just an idea, it’s a necessity. The reality of leaders means you have to find your own place. And yes, you might not be #1. If you don’t know how to give feedback and support to your leaders, you don’t know how to make a society. If you don’t know that, where do you live?
4. Rubber Meeting Road. These days, everybody talks a good game. A trendy men’s magazine in a doctor’s waiting room has advice about meditation, acceptance, emotions—you name it. But if all you do is read, sit alone on your zafu cushion and chat up self-help with a friend over calamari, you might imagine that something more has happened. It’s a good start, but trust me, your journey has only just begun. Join other volunteers in one effort and you’ll be amazed. There is (a lot) more work (for you) to do.
5. True Romance. Connecting eye to eye with a larger world, our hearts (and trustworthiness) are revealed. In community we open our hearts and let down our guard. In the relationships of community others can find us. Romance isn’t just about seduction and “getting lucky,” romance has to be earned. In community, romance is earned.
6. Inspiring Change. Meditation is featured in the popular press, but why? If meditation is part of your plan to finally “get it together,” you’ll need help. But to celebrate (the word root means to gather in a group), there has to be a shared reason. I’m sorry, but if your only community is a bunch of guys hoping to lower their resting heart rate, how is that helping? Find a community with a vision that reflects the goodness of human society and you will grow. You just can’t do it alone.
7. Learning to say goodbye (and hello). Life is change. While we imagine something else, life slips away. Of course if you keep moving and talking, you might never notice that Mary is gone and that John just arrived. Spend all your time building sand castles and you’ll be surprised by a wave. Community teaches us the ebb and the flow, how to laugh and how to cry—how to be human. Can you afford not to be who you are?
Editor’s Note: Mr. Greenleaf joined his meditation community when he was in high school. Some of us gave up on community in high school. Most of us have grown up since since then. Can’t community grow up too?